Since Eric left, I have been surprised at my strength in situations where I would normally lose my cool.
I no longer have the luxury of breaking down when things get tough.In all honesty, becoming a single mom of two babies has been an easier transition than I expected it to be. The weeks leading up to his departure and worrying that I wasn't going to be able to do it by myself were harder on me than actually doing it. I like to think of deployment as an adventure - you finally get a chance to see what you are made of.
So far, i have tackled so many things that would have crippled me if I had a husband crutch to lean on. I dropped Eric off at the pier at 9 am and at 9:15 took my 3 and 19 month old kids on a 1500 mile road trip through 5 states. During our 10 day trip, Charlotte came down with the stomach flu. It was on our way back from visiting in Florida... during our 4 hour trip, the vomit started flowing! I stopped at Wendys. I couldn't figure out a way to get my barf covered toddler, the diaper bag and my sleeping infant into the bathroom by myself, so I decided a parking lot change would be the easiest for everyone. 15 minutes, my last two wipes and dozens of marshmallow barf pieces later, Charli (in outfit #2) was happily "driving" the car while I nursed Christian in the passenger seat.
That was when I heard it. Her face was priceless...
"I poot mama... ow." I have never moved so fast to get Christian back in his seat and sprint around to the driver's seat where Charlotte stood gripping the steering wheel. I laid her down on the driver's seat to change her diaper and stood in awe is the contents ran down the seat and the side of my car, splashing my feet as it hit the pavement.
Panic? No.
This is the point where in a normal situation I would have leaned on my husband crutch.
However, I can tell you that as I dug through the suitcase in a effort to find clothes or blankets that could double as poop catchers, I was calm. I dealt with it. I did it because I had to! I think God made Charli sick that day to teach me that I can handle anything.
Outfit #3 lasted 10 minutes before the puking started again and she was completely naked and covered in vomit by the time we reached our destination. She even puked one more time on her way to the bathtub for good measure. The next week was a testament to the importance of good friends; we are coming to visit and bringing the uncontainable diarrhea and vomit for free!
When we finally decided that our great friends had had enough, we began our journey back to our empty house. Did I mention a rock cracked our windshield during our little adventure? Or that while stopping to give Charli a break, I lost both my debit and credit cards and had 4 dollars and 1/4 tank of gas 200 miles from home? Or that after everything FINALLY seemed over, 8 hours of driving later with only 20 to go, it started pouring and we got stuck because the downtown tunnel was closed and my son was screaming bloody murder in the back seat?
There really is a point of sharing with you our little "adventure." It amazes me how extraordinary circumstances can bring out your strengths and give you confidence in yourself that you can handle anything.
On the same token,
a simple everyday thing can be your kryptonite, Supermom!Case in point - I was checking our dryer vent outside tonight after the kids went to bed... (One of the many "honey-dos" I have to do myself these days)... and there she was. My kryptonite.
It was the biggest, nastiest Black Widow Spider I have ever seen. This is where I scream and run my fastest ever 100 meters back in to the house and seriously considered packing the kids up and going back to South Carolina.
I can handle the toughest situation, except I need someone to come over here and kill this spider asap so I can sleep tonight.
Where is my crutch when I need him?
